I think it also depends a lot on what you each want ...

I have some friends who travel every year - it's just part of their routine. So $5K to go to Fiji or Bali or somewhere, or $8K to visit family in America or England or wherever - it's part of what to them is "necessary". DH and I on the other hand very rarely travel other than for work.

We however spend quite a bit on books ... I will go to the library for DS's library group, but I won't go to borrow books - I don't like having a time limit on my reading, I read books on the train and in the bath etc so they're liable to get knocked about a bit, and I like being able to underline things, highlight things, lend the book to others, etc - so we spend quite a bit on books, which others might think is a waste ...

Clothes is another perfect example - the most I've ever spent on a pair of shoes was $129 for a really, really nice pair of work shoes that lasted me over 4 years. Next expensive were my wedding shoes ($99.95) and most shoes I buy are between $10 and $35, with the exception of gym shoes (normally about $80, and which last me 3-4 years). But lots of people buy new shoes every few months, and will spend $100 or $200 without blinking - because that's what the shoes they like cost. And same thing for general clothes - ask 5 different women how often they buy a new piece of clothing, and you'll find someone who gets something most weeks, others who update once a season, and one who buys a few key pieces every year ... and then ask them how much they would spend on a nice dress, a warm coat, a smart jacket and a work shirt - and again, you'll get an incredible breadth of answers ... meaning you'll find people whose annual clothes budget for the household is $300, and others who could almost eliminate world debt if they op-shopped for a year or two

Food shopping is another really key one. I know people whose shopping budget for 2 people is $65 a week, and other friends whose budget (also for 2) is $500 not including wine and take out ... I thought she was kidding, until I went shopping with her one time

But you and your DH need to know what you spend your money on - and what you're happy for it to go on ... none of this is judging people who are thrifty or people who enjoy spending the money they've earned - it's all just things which you and your hubby need to be on the same page on, so you can make a plan and make some progress.